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I told myself that i would not go on tumblr or play my PS3 until i am up-to-date with all my homework, but since this is an exceptional circumstance i decided to let myself post on tumblr to calm down…

Well at the moment i’m feeling pretty gay. When i don’t understand my homework i get frustrated… So that is part of why i’m feeling gay. Another even worse part, is that i feel as though i’m losing a very close relationship that i have with someone. 

omggg, my friend just posted the best status coincidentally

‘You never realise how much your friends actually impact on your life until you feel like you’re losing them’

I don’t need friends to do well or to be happy. I can lose all my friends and still live a perfectly fine life, but when you feel as though you’re losing a CLOSE friend, it just compounds the feeling of loss ten fold. Who wants to lose a close friend? She’s the closest thing i’ve ever had to someone i can tell anything to. Someone i could always talk to and be happy with. When she’s happy i’m happy, when she’s sad i’m sad and at times it worked the same way for her as well. 

When i’m in a mood like this, i really don’t have anyone i can just straight up think ’ omg, i need to talk to this person ‘, i have no one like that anymore. Because of that, i’m always left a mess when i feel like this. Who do i talk to? I’m not just gonna talk to anyone about how i feel. So how do i get the feelings out? I either have to tumblr post (which is why the majority of my posts were slightly depressing) or just sit in my depressed state listening to depressing music which actually kinda cheers me up since i like the songs LOL, until i feel alright again. I’m happy that generally i only feel in my depressed mode during the night and not at school, ‘cause then school would be a shocker !

I’m feeling slightly better now. Helping your year 7 sister with easy algebra can really boost your self confidence, haha 8-)

Deciding whether you want to involve someone in your problems can be a hard thing as well. You want the support, but you sometimes don’t want to drag other people into the situation… It goes against what i feel. I need to be selfish… So what would i say if someone asked me to help them at school when i should be doing my own work? I want people to help me… But would i help them back at this critical time? idk. Depends on who it is really.

I just remembered a pic that ALWAYS cheers me up and i went to look for it and now i’m another level happier LOL 

Just omg ! Why can’t i get high school over with. Leave all this behind and start fresh, not make the same mistakes i made here. 

Less than a year left ! Just gotta hang in there…

Random Thoughts #13.

It’s clear that friends aren’t what are going to help me get through the year.

It’ll be how determined i am to do well that will do the trick.

The only way i’m going to succeed is if i dedicate all my time to myself and study by being selfish.